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圣诞节笑话

编辑:语际翻译     2009-10-9         转载请注明来自  语际翻译公司 http://www.scientrans.com

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  Blackmail

  It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mum if he could have a new bike. So, she told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But Sam, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. So his mum told him that would be fine.Sam went to his room and wrote ' Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.' But he wasn't very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote 'Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.' He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. He tried a third version. 'Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.' He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied. So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden. He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed. Then he wrote this letter. 'Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you'd better send me a new bike.'

    

  Strange Illness

  It was the doctor's last patient consultation of Christmas Eve. The mother asked if he would examine her daughter, as she had been complaining about a number of worrying symptoms. He examined her closely and told her he believed the girl was pregnant. The mother protested very strongly. 'Don't be ridiculous, my daughter has never been with a man' The girl confirmed that this was true and added that she had never so much as kissed a man.The doctor studied them both very carefully, then quietly stood up, walked to the window and stared out of it. Suspecting the worst the mother asked if there was something wrong, to which the doctor replied. 'It might just be a coincidence, but the last time this happened a bright star appeared the the East.'

   

  Christmas Post

  'A woman went into a post office to buy some stamps for her Christmas cards. What denomination do you want ? asked the lady at the counter. 'Good God!' she replied, Has it come to this? I suppose you'd better give me twenty Catholic and twenty Presbyterian.

   

  Christmas Service

  It was a cold and misty Christmas morning in the very depth of Winter after a heavy fall of snow and only one farmer and the minister managed to arrive at the church for the morning service. 'Well' said the clergyman 'I guess there's no point in having a service today.' 'Well that's not how I see it. said the farmer. If only one cow turns up at feeding time, I still feed it.'

   

   

  A Car For Christmas

  Danny had recently passed his driving test and decided to ask his clergyman father if there was any chance of him getting a car for Christmas, which was yet some months away. 'Okay.' said his father 'I tell you what I'll do. If you can get your 'A' level grades up to 'A's and 'B's, study your bible and get your hair cut, I'll consider the matter very seriously.'

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